tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87853145688846341412024-03-14T00:50:08.334-04:00the practising troublemakerMary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.comBlogger356125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-59939868356509268292019-08-04T19:41:00.000-04:002019-08-04T19:42:08.305-04:00#thesefourwalls10 and no, they still don’t have jetpacks<a href="http://practisetrouble.blogspot.com/2019/06/why-i-want-to-give-john-taylor-big-hug.html">In my last post here on The Practising Troublemaker</a>, I wrote about Duran Duran’s John Taylor and his autobiography and how it had been 20 years since I had become a full-fledged Duranie. Today’s post is all about another big anniversary: 10 years on since the release of <a href="https://www.wewerepromisedjetpacks.com/" target="new"><b>We Were Promised Jetpacks</b></a>’ debut album for FatCat Records, ‘These Four Walls’. The Scottish band were in our country for the last month to play a celebratory series of shows in celebration of the milestone.
<p>
Last Tuesday night, We Were Promised Jetpacks (who will be known as WWPJ going forward in this post) played U Street Music Hall with friends of mine Catholic Action, also from Scotland. Summer shows in DC are always tricky propositions: unless the headliner is a long-established artist with many years under the belt, most of the fans attending shows in DC are college-age kids, which means you might have trouble selling tickets. Being in a basement on a DC summer night isn’t great, either. Years ago, I <a href="http://diymag.com/archive/the-gaslight-anthem-u-street-music-hall-washington-dc" target="new">covered the Gaslight Anthem for DIY</a> in the same venue in July, and the heat was pretty overwhelming. I was glad, though, to see that many people packed out the venue for a band who had come such a long way to play for us.
<p>
Weeks prior to the gig, WWPJ announced that lead guitarist Michael Palmer would be leaving the band after their North American tour wrapped. I had first seen them a decade previous, playing as part of Brighton, England indie label FatCat Records’ tour in the autumn of 2009. I hadn’t known much about WWPJ before seeing them play that show at the Black Cat, the first of many times I would see them play live at individual shows and music festivals. (Sadly, following the demise of PopWreckoning, that review and its photos are now lost to the ether.) It was comedian Patton Oswalt (you know, the guy who voiced the cooking mouse in Ratatouille) who, during an interview on Fuse TV, tipped them and their video for ‘Roll Up Your Sleeves’. I hadn’t been with There Goes the Fear as their U.S. editor for long, but I knew in hearing the passion in tracks from ‘These Four Walls’ that these kids from Edinburgh were going somewhere. <a href="https://www.theregoesthefear.com/2009/08/bands-to-watch-128-we-were-promised-jetpacks.php" target="new">I just had to write about them!</a> And we/I at TGTF <a href="https://www.theregoesthefear.com/tag/wewerepromisedjetpacks" target="new">wrote quite a bit about them over the years.</a>
<p>
<iframe width="373" height="210" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TUFBl9Ouk4E" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<p>
Ten years in our business is a long time these days. Many bands don’t make it past a few years, let alone a decade. I mean, consider Duran Duran for a moment. They’ve been doing this for 40 years. Any band with any sort of longevity in 2019 can credit the same few things for their success: hard work, great music, great songwriting, fantastic live shows, and devoted fans. In WWPJ’s case, <font color="cyan">I would argue that the rising of their own star in America contributed to a greater awareness of what was going on in the Scottish music scene for years to come.</font>
<p>
It wasn’t that there weren’t Scottish bands worthy to be written about and covered by places like TGTF back then. In the early Noughties, Franz Ferdinand proved to Scottish bands that global success was possible. No, it was about having touchstones, reference points for those of us like myself who previously had next to none.
<p>
Three years after ‘These Four Walls’, WWPJ would close <a href="https://www.theregoesthefear.com/2012/03/sxsw-2012-day-2-scottish-music-industry-association-showcase-at-easy-tiger-patio-15th-march-2012.php" target="new">the rammed Scottish music showcase at Easy Tiger at SXSW 2012</a>, the first of eight years I would attend the carnival of crazy. On the same bill were art-pop noiseniks Django Django, who were enjoying a wave of popularity thanks to BBC Radio backing. I met Django Django’s Dave McLean at that showcase, as well as BBC Radio Scotland’s Vic Galloway, who has since become a dear friend and resource. I have been to Scotland many times since, and I feel very at home there. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Scotland has, arguably, the most exciting music scene of all of Britain at the moment, and I don’t think I would have invested as much time in Scottish indie if I hadn’t watched the video for ‘Roll Up Your Sleeves’, did my research, and found myself rocking out to ‘These Four Walls’.
<p>
I was well past any teenage or even twenty-something angst when I popped this CD on for the first time. Yet what struck me most was the aggression of the music, matching the tormented shouts of frontman Adam Thompson. I have never been the kind of music fan that enjoys the Bob Dylan-y, guitar-toting troubadour on a stool telling me stories about his life. The reason WWPJ’s debut album works so well is the immediacy of its singles: the aforementioned ‘Roll Up Your Sleeves’, ‘Quiet Little Voices’, ‘It’s Thunder and Lightning’. These are songs to yell along to at the top of your lungs in a cathartic rage. I wouldn’t call the album punk, for there are songs like ‘Conductor’ that have that garage-y, folk-y thing going, while ‘Keeping Warm’ is an 8-minute opus with an extended instrumental. The album was a statement of intent: here we are, we are Scottish and proud to be Scottish, and we're going to make the music we want to make. They were young and hungry and more importantly, <font color="pink">it worked.</font>
<p>
I think it’s important to note, too, that despite receiving a 6.7 from Pitchfork, ‘These Four Walls’ surpassed the average music critic’s expectation, or perhaps I should say the band did with respect to music listeners. It was word of mouth and fan devotion that kept WWPJ viable as a band for so many years. I told so many friends about them and talked them up on TGTF, which I am positive ‘sold’ them to American fans interested in British music. How to break music in 2019 is very different than how it was done successfully in 2009. I’m definitely sad that Michael and his monster riffs will no longer be a part of WWPJ, but <font color="cyan"><b>I am pleased they will be continuing as a band. They are truly lovely people, and they should be rightly proud of the legacy they have built for themselves</b></font> and all the fans they’ve picked up along the way. Rereading my 2009 Bands to Watch on them, I feel honored that I played a small part in their journey, that I gave a helping hand to a band I heard so much promise in.
<p>
<a href="https://www.theregoesthefear.com/uploads/2009/08/We-Were-Promised-Jetpacks-top.jpg" target="new"><img height="180" src="https://www.theregoesthefear.com/uploads/2009/08/We-Were-Promised-Jetpacks-top.jpg" width="397" /></A>
<br>
<i>baby We Were Promised Jetpacks<br>
(I'm gonna guess I nicked this from their Facebook at the time)</i>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">😁😂 <a href="https://twitter.com/wwpj?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@wwpj</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/uhalldc?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@uhalldc</a> tonight. Apparently my reputation precedes me because they remembered who I was as I rocked up. 👍 <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/editorlife?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#editorlife</a> <a href="https://t.co/ouwauPvzRx">pic.twitter.com/ouwauPvzRx</a></p>— Mary Chang (@theprintedword) <a href="https://twitter.com/theprintedword/status/1156427397899739136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-14261414084266394592019-06-01T21:05:00.000-04:002019-08-04T19:41:32.213-04:00why I want to give John Taylor a big hugI am not sure where to put this. I’ve got <a href="http://musicinnotes.wordpress.com" target="new">Music in Notes</A> but that’s a lyrics analysis site, <a href="https://www.theregoesthefear.com/" target="new">TGTF</A> is dormant, and this doesn’t feel like the right place, either. But it’s what I have for tonight and this was good enough for my last missive in December. If it was good enough then, why not now?
<p>
Yesterday afternoon, I received Duran Duran bassist <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Pleasure-Groove-Love-Death-Duran/dp/0142196940" target="new">John Taylor’s 2012 autobiography</A> in the post. After I clocked off from work, I sat down to devour it. More like sprinted through my first read of it and stayed up late to get through it. I am sure I missed stuff and will be rereading this more than a few times. <font color="pink"><strong>John was my favorite member of Duran Duran when I became a Duranie at age 19.</strong></font> My turning into one occurred, quite oddly, many, many years after their New Romantic days and as a result of hearing a snatch of song from a VH1 documentary.
<p>
Before their reunion of the Fab Five in the early Noughties, it wasn’t easy nor fashionable for a teen to be a Duranie. We were tolerated by those who had “been there” in the ‘80s when the band were blowing up the charts, but just barely. I guess some of the old-timers just didn’t like us underfoot. I was lucky to have found some friends, some of whom are still friends of mine (no pun intended) today. I won’t go into that further here. I’ve got the bones for most of that chapter for my memoirs, and you’ll just have to wait for it.
<p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-obixevoIkuI/XPMZrNntJvI/AAAAAAAAQrA/mViHhW6r6D0B3H_FZlQAx5xT8IfYb3heACLcBGAs/s1600/Nick%2Band%2BJohn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-obixevoIkuI/XPMZrNntJvI/AAAAAAAAQrA/mViHhW6r6D0B3H_FZlQAx5xT8IfYb3heACLcBGAs/s1600/Nick%2Band%2BJohn.jpg" width="300" data-original-height="271" /></a></div>
I had avoided getting the audiobook to JT’s autobiography because I was scared I wouldn’t be able to get through it, that I would find it too weird to have him talking “to me.” He was someone who I had at first idolized superficially. If you’re a straight woman and you don’t have some kind of reaction to photos of him (that smile!), I think something is wrong with you, ha. By the time I became a Duranie, he’d already left the band to toil away in other projects, family life, and sobriety. While time went seemed to move all too quickly during my obsession with Duran Duran, as I finished up my first degree and was heading for my second, I felt lucky enough to have been along for the ride while John experimented with his solo career and expressed himself in a way that he couldn’t as part of Duran Duran.
<p>
Over the years I used to think, or perhaps I had trained my brain to think, that the reason I was completely intrigued by what John Taylor was doing outside of Duran was simply because of his prior connection to the band and how I felt about him in it. But what has become increasingly in focus in the last few years is a part-subliminal message that seemed either specifically meant for me or meant for many others, with the purpose of healing. There are lots of heated discussions among Duranies, but there is one thing that we can all agree on. We are forever grateful that our “bass god” got help for his internal demons and is alive today. And if there is ever one takeaway you get from me, it’s that it’s my firm belief that we’re here, in this life, for as long as we’re meant to be.
<p>
<font color="cyan"><strong>Trust the Process.</strong></font> That was the name of John’s web site after leaving Duran and the title of a song off his debut solo record ‘Feelings Are Good and Other Lies.’ I can’t find it now because the site has been wiped since Duran Duran reunited, but I recall an interview or some kind of press release where he explained why he named the site Trust the Process. (I hope I’m remembering this correctly; if I am not, it sure feels like this is how it was meant to be conveyed.) It was a personal mantra meant to keep him on the road of sobriety, a reminder that even when he felt he couldn’t cope without drugs or alcohol, if he could will himself to stay on course, he could get through it. All would be okay.
<p>
“<em>Trust the process</em>” has been the code phrase that I use with my close Duranie friends when life is giving one of us a right bollocking and all seems lost. We’ve all been there. Three simple words that have floated through texts, emails, and phone calls of support. Sometimes I’ve had to repeat it to myself, silently, out loud, or even sometimes scream it.
<p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uAtD_SpPesY" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>
<em>one of his solo pop songs only known within the JT fandom, sadly</em>
<p>
As I started reading the first few chapters of <em>In the Pleasure Groove</em>, I was blown away by how many times I laughed loudly, muttered “bugger” under my breath, or felt I was going to cry to a story John related from his childhood. I know you’re asking, what on earth would a boy who grew up in a suburb of Birmingham in the ‘60s have in common with a girl reared in a suburb of Washington, DC, 20 years later? We got glasses at the same age and were shamed at school for them. (JT is famously known to have truly bad eyesight – over 10 diopters – as do I. Lucky for him, he was able to get LASIK.) We both suffered from terrible social anxiety as children and never felt like we fit in. Both our fathers were notoriously, painfully reticent, mostly standing still emotionally, like statues from a bygone era. Like John, I essentially grew up like an only child, as a friend reminded me recently on a trip to Scotland. Our parents put up with musical obsessions and coped with our ridiculous schemes.
<p>
We both knew on an intellectual level that we were loved by our parents but...<font color="cyan"><strong>something was amiss in both of our childhoods.</strong></font> In the book, John doesn’t come to the conclusion that I did with my own upbringing: when either or both parents don’t come to terms with the emotional trauma from their own lives, they unknowingly pass it on to their children. It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I found <a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-emotional-abandonment/" target="new">the psychological term</A> for what had happened to me. Through therapy, I’m still trying to assess and work on undoing the damage.
<p>
I had surmised long ago that all the alcohol and drugs he consumed and constantly so were to make up for a major void in his life, but I hadn’t guessed correctly what exactly that was. It sounds counterintuitive but as he explains in his book, drinking and binging himself into oblivion temporarily erased any lack of confidence or doubts he had about not being good enough to occupy this this larger than life idolized persona whose handsome face was splashed across all the teenybopper magazines and hung on teenage girls’ walls. It pained me then, at the start of my love of Duran Duran, to know he’d been through addiction and suffered so much, but I had trouble understanding why he did it. I never occurred to me that the vicious cycle of shame and lack of self-esteem went hand in hand with the substance abuse.
<p>
<font color="pink"><strong>After experiencing this book, I have never felt closer to John as I do tonight.</strong></font> Perhaps he was meant to be this influence on me all along, his handsomeness and his bass playing the “hooks” to get me interested in him long enough to stick around and pay attention. It just didn’t crystallize into what was meant to be until I had read his autobiography and considered the connection.
<p>I wish I could reach out and give him a big hug. I want to tell him that I was sorry for what happened to him and that I understood because I had gone through my own harrowing emotional experience, even though in my life, it played out entirely differently. I want to thank him for being so honest about how he finally found salvation and how he deals with things day by day. <font color="cyan"><strong>He has transcended what it means to be a rock star.</strong></font> We Duranies all knew he was more than the media ever gave Duran Duran credit for when they wrote the band off in the ‘80s. By telling his story, <font color="pink"><strong>John has offered the hope that recovery is possible. We all cope in our own ways when we’re damaged. As that quote goes, we’re all works in progress.</strong></font> Just that some of us do a better job at “<em>fake it ‘til you make it.</em>”
<p>
NB: I know that some Duranies are upset that John didn’t thank Duran Duran’s original guitarist Andy Taylor (no relation) at the end of his book. They interpret this as a major intentional slight. The way I see it, it’s quite possible that as part of John’s continuing sobriety, he couldn’t bring himself to thank the bandmate with whom he had gotten so wasted so many times in Duran Duran’s early days. He doesn’t say it – John is ever diplomatic in the book – but seriously, once you understood your problems, figured out a reasonable solution, and were on the road to a better life, would you thank your former enablers? I know I wouldn’t. Perhaps one day the two of them will sit down over coffee, talk it over, and mend fences before it’s too late. But I’m not holding my breath.Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-36749811804934506752018-12-18T10:32:00.003-05:002018-12-18T10:35:04.207-05:00everything happens for a reasonTo say that the last month or so, plus the last 2 years plus, have been difficult for me would be an understatement. Around the 7th of November, I got a tickle in my throat, which led to a full-blown cold. I'm still coughing and sneezing and no-one really knows why. My hard drive decided to die and my Macbook went unresponsive before a scheduled birthday trip to Britain, which led me to turn down an industry appointment I had coveted for years. The odd silver lining to all of this was that I was able to turn off and tune out during my 10 days in Glasgow and Sheffield. I saw <A href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqpbzxfgp8H/" target="new">this beautiful view</A> stood on a pier in Luss on a sunny day on Loch Lomond; I understand sunny days like this are hard to find in Scotland in winter. I had <A href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq72Q45AK2I/" target="new">a wonderful dinner</A> in <A href="https://www.stravaigin.co.uk/" target="new">this wonderful place</A> with three wonderful friends.
<p>
Upon returning to Washington, I reflected on everything that happened since the moment I took ill and came back to the phrase that I've stood by for as long as I can remember.
<p>
<b><font color="white">Everything happens for a reason.</font></b>
<p>
In the bigger picture, I've changed jobs, and where I ended up wasn't much anything as I expected it to be. My elderly mother has progressively declined in health and QOL and with my brother conveniently out of the picture, I have, involuntarily, taken the brunt of the caretaking. The fatigue, aches, and pains that I've suffered with since my childhood have also gotten worse. About 3 years ago I described it to a doctor I've been seeing since the mid-Noughties that it was like someone flipped a light switch: suddenly I needed much more sleep than I previously did, and doing the simplest things started taking monumental effort. As I'm sure many of you know when you're in an immunocompromised or even an emotionally compromised state, sometimes you say to yourself, "<i>why should I even bother?</i>" and can't even get out of bed.
<p>
But I have gotten out of bed and tried to make this world a better place each day I am here. I have stood on my own two feet. Which probably sounds like an odd statement to most people but in the summer of 2005, I was wheelchair-bound for many weeks during a period of convalescence. Standing up on my own wasn't something I could do for myself.
<p>
I have always stood by the way that I write and express myself through words. If I'm physically incapable to sit up at my computer to do the writing and research on my own or my heart is not into it, I can't bring myself to do it. In my entire life, I've never seen the point of doing things halfway. Either you do it to the best of your ability and or don't bother at all. You were born to live and breathe and contribute something in this life. Don't dishonor that gift.
<p>
<u>The take home message</u>: Things at TGTF will change in 2019. I haven't come up with a game plan on what that will look like, but I hope to around the holidays and during some time to myself at home around New Year's.
<p>
To those of you who have supported me the last few years and indeed, even from the beginning when I took at TGTF, thank you. Your support means the world to me.
Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-41436290946994379472014-03-01T13:21:00.003-05:002014-03-01T13:28:53.726-05:00why I enjoy cooking / recipe #1: pork, shrimp and spinach wontonsI decided a couple weeks ago that I would finally start writing my memoirs. Last year, I had a major health breakthrough that was not explainable by modern science: my bleeding disorder had normalized and I no longer had to worry as much about accidentally cutting myself. For nearly a decade, I'd been petrified to hold, let alone use a knife in the kitchen. I've enjoyed cooking since I was a kid, so it had been one of the worst things in my life to not be able to cook the way I always had.<br />
<br />
My love for cooking goes back to my childhood days, being in the kitchen with my mother or my grandmother. I would go with them to the grocery store to buy the ingredients and then I'd watch them make the most amazing things from what seemed to me like the simplest things ever. I also have great memories of helping my dad fry cod fritters and barbecue all sorts of things - steaks, marinated chicken, miso glazed salmon - and the times I spent with my family cooking are moments that I feel most kids these days have really missed out on.<br />
<br />
Watching someone cook also impressed on me that cooking doesn't have to be complicated. I think some people who are not comfortable in the kitchen get a mental block about cooking because we have icons like Martha Stewart making it "look" so easy to make a wedding cake. Once you try and master the basics, you will have the confidence to improvise and try new things. I'll read recipes but most of the time, I have an idea in my head of things I want to do and what ingredients I want to use, and I find recipes too confining.<br />
<br />
However, my friends on Facebook demanded last night to have the recipe for the wontons I made and photographed for my dinner, so I will indulge them. As time permits, I will add more recipes here.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Pork, shrimp, and spinach wontons</u></b><br />
<br />
8 ounces frozen whole leaf spinach, cooked, chopped, and drained very well<br />
2/3 pounds of ground pork<br />
1 pound shrimp, shelled, deveined, and cut into thirds (U31-40 count is fine)<br />
1 egg, beaten<br />
1 tablespoon garlic powder<br />
store bought wonton skins<br />
chopped green onions, soy sauce, and sesame oil for garnish<br />
<br />
Makes about 50 medium to large wontons, good for four large portions. I tend to make a lot at once during the weekend, then refrigerate them after they've completely cooled, so I can eat the leftovers during the week. <br />
<br />
<u>Miscellaneous ingredient notes:</u>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Last night I didn't have frozen spinach, so I tried using frozen kale instead and it worked just fine. Just note that spinach is less bitter than kale and I know not everyone likes the taste of kale. Another option if you don't have either is cooked napa cabbage, drained very well; napa is another traditional vegetable used in wontons, and these days most grocery stores stock it in the produce section. I just find it's easier to work with frozen vegetables because you can have a box or bag of it in the freezer and don't have to run to the grocery store every time you want to make wontons. Also, you can save money by stocking up on the frozen veg when they're on sale.
I also really like using chopped green onions in my wontons, but I realized after I'd cut my shrimp that I hadn't cut my onions and I didn't want to cross contaminate. If you don't like onions, skip them. I minimized the ingredients in this recipe to make it simpler.</li>
<li>You can probably get away with a leaner ground pork but remember folks, fat is flavor! I find the fat is worth it for the taste. Also remember that you're not going to be eating a huge piece of meat but in smaller, bite size portions, so if you're counting calories, increase the amount of vegetable you're using so the proportion of vegetable (and therefore fiber) to meat is higher.
</li>
<li>Larger shrimp are more expensive and since we're cutting them up, there's no reason to spend more money on fancier ones. I like using 31-40 shrimp per pound-sized shrimp because they're not super tiny, so they're easy to peel and devein, but not super expensive either. Bagged, individually quick frozen shrimp is absolutely fine and I usually buy them when they're on sale; if you don't want to deal with defrosting the shrimp, buy them fresh from the seafood counter.
I cut my shrimp into thirds so they're small enough to put into a wonton. Any larger, and you may run into the problem of not being able to close your skins.
</li>
<li>Don't use gyoza skins. Wonton skins are square and gyoza skins are round. I cannot stress this enough. Wonton skins are much, MUCH thinner and much more delicate. There is a huge difference. It's worth it going to an Oriental grocery store to get the wonton ones if only gyoza ones are available in your regular grocery store. Also, if you have a choice, buy the wonton skins that are yellow colored, not white. It was never entirely explained to me by my grandmother why this is - my mom says it has to do with alkali in the dough, but I am not sure why this makes a difference, but the yellow ones taste so much better. Trust me on this.
</li>
<li>I personally do not use salt in my recipe because I eat a pretty low sodium diet. I would recommend you use salt (either salt itself or via soy sauce) by adding it on top when you're ready to eat because you can control the amount of salt you use that way. Garlic is a great way to add flavor without adding salt. If you like your food spicy, you can add pepper to your filling. If you want to be a rebel, try using white pepper - the flavor is fantastically different than white pepper and fancier Chinese chefs use it instead of the black.
</li>
</ul>
Right. Enough talking! Here's how to make your wontons:<br />
<br />
1. Organize your prep table. In a small bowl, add a small amount of cold water and put it on your prep table. Take several paper plates and wrap them in plastic wrap: you're going to wrap your wontons on them. Loosen the plastic wrapping on the skins so they'll be easy to access later. Also get several large plates lined up on the side of the kitchen near your stove: this is where you're going to put your cooked wontons when you're done.<br />
<br />
2. Bring a saucepan of water to a low boil. Add the frozen spinach to the saucepan. Turn heat up to high until the water boils, stirring occasionally with a slotted spoon. Shut off the heat.<br />
<br />
3. With a slotted spoon, drain spinach from the saucepan and spread it out on a plate to cool faster. I use the back of the spoon to squeeze more water out of the spinach by pushing it up against the side of the pan, then move the spinach to the plate.<br />
<br />
4. Wash your hand well. When cool enough to the touch, squeeze as much of the water out over the sink with your hands. (You don't want watery wontons!) Move the spinach to a cutting board and chop. (If you're one of those people that thinks touching food is icky, use paper towels. I personally like to get in there and like to be "one" with my food. (Don't judge. I cook better than you, don't I?) Put chopped spinach in a large bowl with the ground pork.<br />
<br />
5. Shell, devein, and rinse your shrimp. Before moving the shrimp to your cutting board, pat dry with paper towels. Then chop your shrimp into three pieces each. You'll be using two to three pieces of shrimp in each wonton. Add to your bowl.<br />
<br />
6. Crack egg in a small bowl and beat white and yolk together. Add beaten egg to your bowl. (I'm a rebel, I crack the egg directly into a empty spot of my bowl and beat it in there so I don't have an extra bowl to wash. My mom taught me that trick.)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1654296_10152421463205312_1985168024_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/t1/1654296_10152421463205312_1985168024_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
7. Add garlic powder and mix with a small spoon until the shrimp and vegetables are mixed throughout the pork. Don't beat the meat to death (I don't recommend you using your hands for this, like you might for a meatloaf or meatballs), but make sure the ingredients are pretty well incorporated.<br />
<br />
8. Line up several single wonton skins on your plastic-wrapped plates. Begin assembling your wontons by placing two to three shrimp pieces in the exact middle of your skins. Then add your pork and vegetable on top of the shrimp. It's important to get the filling in the middle of your skin or you'll have trouble closing them. I like having like five of these ready with their filling in place before I start closing the skins, so I can have an assembly line going.<br />
<br />
9. Dip one finger in the small bowl with water and wet the border of two of the four sides of a skin. Don't use too much water, the skin will get too sticky; just use enough. Then fold the skin over to make a triangle, as if you were making a turnover. Make sure you've sealed it airtight, or you run the risk of them exploding like a balloon when you cook them.<br />
<br />
If you want to be fancy like me and make them "real" wontons, take the two bottom corners of your triangle and twist them, almost like you're making a tortellini. It's hard for me to explain it into words and this video kind of shows what I do, but it looks like I'm going to have to video tape myself doing it one time, because the way my mom taught me to do it is so much more elegant than this. <br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2N7NuvVZfPE" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
10. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Drop your wontons in gently and make sure they don't stick together or to the bottom of the pot. Stir very gently so you don't break the skins. Bring the water back up to boiling, and from that point, start counting the time. Your wontons will be ready in 6 to 8 minutes, depending on how much filling you used: less filling, less time.<br />
<br />
11. Turn off the heat and drain with a slotted spoon to your plates that are waiting. Try to spread them out, as when they cool off they'll stick. By draining them this way, they're ready to eat as is. You can pick them up with chopsticks and eat them with soy sauce, sesame oil, and green onions to taste.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/1780722_10152421560330312_153897174_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1/1780722_10152421560330312_153897174_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
*Another option is to serve them with soup. For each serving, put a small amount of soy sauce and sesame oil at the bottom of a bowl. Have a kettle of hot water at the ready. When the wontons are done, drain and place them directly into the bowl. Add hot water from the kettle on top of the wontons, so the soy sauce and sesame oil mingle together with the wontons. Sprinkle green onions on top.<br />
<br />
See, that wasn't difficult, was it? ::grin::Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-59857019300667273412014-01-29T11:00:00.000-05:002014-01-29T11:00:00.670-05:00seven years onI haven't written on here in ages but I felt compelled to write after finding something last night that stunned me, made me stop in my tracks, my heart feeling like it had dropped to the floor like a stone.
<p>
I was going through one of my journals from 2006 and found this entry from <font color="pink">Tuesday, the 18th of July 2006.</font> I *think* I know what it's about, but the more important thing is what it stands for (or stood for I guess, in past tense).
<P>
When you find something you wrote years ago, you may find strange solace that the younger version of yourself had gone through the same problems in life.
<P>
Or maybe it shouldn't be considered solace at all if you're still making the same mistakes and suffering the same terrible heartbreaks.
<P>
==
<P>
::sing-song voice:: "Hello, is anyone in there?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">::coffin creaks open:: "Yes, I've been taking a nap. A long nap." ::yawns::</font>
<P>
"What have you been up to in there?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">::still yawning:: "Doing a lot of thinking. Mainly feeling sorry for myself."</font>
<P>
"Sorry to hear that."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"Well..." ::stretches arms::</font>
<P>
"It's not healthy. To wallow in self-pity, you know."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"But S. does it so well! And he writes so beautifully..."</font>
<P>
"S.?!? you haven't seen his photograph lately, have you?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">"Noooo...why?"</font>
<P>
"He's all...skinny. and pale. Like..."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"Oh no, is he on speed and X again?"</font>
<P>
"Could be. You know he's been running around with Robs."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"Oh. Yeah. Forgot that. You know what I was doing the other day? Re-reading those stories I wrote. Like the one about him."</font>
<P>
"My dear. That was years ago. But you were really in love with him, weren't you?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">"I was."</font>
<P>
"Maybe you should take up writing again. Might be therapeutic for you."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"I'm one step ahead of you. I just put up a new thingy on that stories page, and more is to come. I need to write...I feel...broken. More broken than usual."</font>
<P>
"Then why aren't you writing in your journal, sweetheart?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">"People don't want to read about your sorrow. Besides, I don't WANT to make people unhappy."</font>
<P>
"So...?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">"So...while I've been beating myself over you-know-who, I've been crying on the outside and crying on the inside, and sometimes I can't tell which way's up. Why the hell do I feel this way? He doesn't feel anything for me anymore. He just wants to be 'friends'..."</font>
<P>
"Because you cared for him so. Don't beat yourself up over him. He's not worth it."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"I just wish I was an unfeeling b**ch. With a heart of ice and stone. Then I wouldn't hurt. I wouldn't feel this bad. It's been nearly 2 years you know. And the idiot has to come back into my life and hurt me all over again. I know he didn't mean to hurt me again, but just coming back and *pretending* everything was okay again was like pouring salt into the wound. He doesn't seem to understand why this is so difficult for me."</font>
<P>
"I know, sweetie, I know. I hope things get better for you soon."
<P>
<font color="cyan">"So do I...it all starts with this..."</font>
<P>
"What?"
<P>
<font color="cyan">"This is what I submitted to them today. I hope he responds..."</font>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-27142774958947579132013-06-25T08:15:00.000-04:002013-06-25T09:28:51.076-04:00emancipation (from a ghost) and proclamation (of what to do afterwards)I haven't posted in over a year and I feel really bad about that, but if you're wondering what I've been up since:
<UL>
<LI>I've been soldiering on with <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/" target="new">There Goes the Fear</A>.
<LI>I covered <font color="yellow">Great Escape 2012</font> alone (boo) and <font color="yellow">Liverpool Sound City 2012</font> (mostly alone but with John to run our hosted stage at the Liverpool Academy of Arts with our friends <font color="cyan">the Temper Trap</font>, <font color="cyan">Clock Opera</font>, and <font color="cyan">Dear Prudence</font>).
<LI>I started <a href="http://musicinnotes.wordpress.com" target="new">Music in Notes</A> with encouragement from a friend.
<LI>I went to Australia to cover the inaugural ARIA Week in November 2012; it so happened that was the same week as my birthday so I got to celebrate it at the famous Oxford Art Factory, a place I had seen so many times on Australian gig listings and band routings through Oz but assumed I would never visit.
<LI>I covered <font color="yellow">SXSW 2013</font> (again, alone); however, I wasn't really alone as for the final 2 days I got to pal around with the exceedingly chivalrous <font color="cyan">Crookes</font>, who made me laugh, smile, and forget that I was lonely, including me in a Friday night out that will be memorable for years to come.
<LI>I was on holiday in Britain for 22 days in May, an absolutely glorious time (never again, unfortunately, unless I quit my job [hardly likely]).
<LI>I covered <font color="yellow">Liverpool Sound City 2013</font> (with John and Martin, TGTF crew yay!) and <font color="yellow">Great Escape 2013</font> (with John, TGTF tag team, yay!) again; we are likely going again next year, just not sure who is going to which.
<LI>I'm never mentioning the word <font color="cyan">Delphic</font> again after an incident in Liverpool that shocked and upset me at the time but now I'm like <i>meh</i>, fine; bridges have been burnt.
<LI>I visited <font color="orange">Scotland</font> for the first time (<font color="orange">Glasgow</font> - thumbs up; <font color="orange">Edinburgh</font> - thumbs down).
<LI>I visited <font color="orange">Newcastle</font> for the first time (it's beautiful!) and got to meet Martin's family (super nice good people!).
<LI>(thanks to an entirely last minute announcement) I visited <font color="pink">Sheffield</font> for the first time, and now I'm in <font color="pink">love</font> (in multiple senses of the word); probably not a good position for me to be in, but I'll let the chips fall where they may.
<LI>I took it upon myself to organise a two music Web site-collaboration for the purpose of promo for <font color="cyan">the Crookes</font> in London, when they played the Scala, their biggest London show to date (I've not seen the interview or session videos yet but I have every faith they will be fine); in the process I got to meet the lovely <font color="cyan">Heartbreaks</font> from Morecambe and were touched by the Northern boys' warmness.
<LI>I came back home, entirely unhappy to be back in America because I started missing England *immediately* after, which is a major problem considering my boss forbids me to leave the country again until 2014.
<LI>I was asked by a friend to assist on, with my editing skills, a new project that makes me very nervous but I hope will bring us closer together as friends (we'll see).
</UL>
I think that brings you up to speed? Below is a live video I filmed at the Crookes' show at the Scala on 21 May 2013. It's of the single 'Dance in Colour', which is absolutely beautiful.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/to-vI0UOvgE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-62948618067633611402012-05-03T12:54:00.001-04:002012-05-03T12:55:52.998-04:00I am really bad about not posting to this thing.all I can say is that b/c I write so much for TGTF and This is Fake DIY, it's becoming increasingly less desirable to write about music on here, even about Lammo's Thursday Roundtable. although I regularly tune in without fail, I just want to listen to the tracks and let them sink in
that said, I have some exciting things happening very soon:
<UL><LI>I am attending both <font color="pink">the Great Escape</font> and <font color="pink">Liverpool Sound City</font> as an official delegate
<lI><font color="orange">TGTF will have a stage at Sound City</font> that will feature <font color="cyan">the Temper Trap</font>, <font color="cyan">Clock Opera</font> and <font color="cyan">Dear Prudence</font> on Friday 18 May and
<li>hell yeah, I'm finally having another holiday in England, although I'll really only have 5 days to myself (3 in London, though I'm planning a day trip to Cambridge, and 1 each in Brighton and in Liverpool, but those are really to get to the towns and check out the lay of the land before the festivals).</ul>
why don't I put a video up here today, one that you wouldn't expect? I wish people would stop banging on about how awful <font color="cyan">One Direction</font>. I'm pleased that <font color="cyan">Duran Duran</font>, not them, were chosen for the Olympics opening ceremony. that said, for what they are, and for the nice message of this song - girls, you are beautiful the way you are - I think they're a heck of a lot better than any misogynistic, foul-mouthed rapper. this is a pop song not trying to be anything else but a pop song. deal with it.'
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QJO3ROT-A4E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-77274695232757069962012-02-18T13:54:00.009-05:002012-02-18T14:19:23.423-05:00when lighting is not a blogger's best friendI generally do not use this blog as a place to rant but reading my TGTF email gave me pause today, from a commenter named "Paul" in regards to my recent DC9 <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2012/02/live-review-slow-club-with-the-young-rapids-and-air-waves-dc9-washington-dc-14th-february-2012.php">Slow Club live review</a>:<br /><br /><font color="pink"><span style="font-style:italic;">"Mary- turn off you [sic] flash. It's rude."</span></font><br /><br />I've had a look through all the photos I took that night. Of the 94 photos I took of all three bands, 5 were with flash. This comment is particularly annoying to me because I was not being annoying and using flash for every photo. What was the problem then? I can tell you the problem. DC9, due to its size, isn't large enough for professional lighting rigs. I can usually get away with no flash at the 9:30 Club (look at <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/09/live-review-erasure-with-frankmusik-at-930-club-washington-dc-6th-september-2011.php">this Erasure live review</a> as an example) because the lighting onstage is enough to light up the bands on stage.<div><br /></div><div>I realize flash is annoying not only to the artists but also to the fans. If I didn't, I would have used flash on every photo. Did I? No. When possible, I try to use whatever lighting is available, and try to make up for it with the exposure settings on my camera. The provided lighting ALWAYS makes a photo look better compared to one with flash. I'm no expert but I've gotten some good shots over the years that I'm proud of, so I would consider myself a functional gig photographer. Provided I get to the gig early enough to be up front.<br /><br />That said, I would like to point out something about the way I blog, and how blogging is done in general. There are three types of people who cover live gigs:<br /><ul><li><span style="font-size: 100%; ">people who contribute only writing to blogs, so when they cover live gigs, they only provide a write-up</span></li><li><span style="font-size: 100%; ">people who only take photos and don't do any write-up (general professional photographers, some of whom actually get paid by print or online publications)</span></li><li><span style="font-size: 100%; ">people who take photos and do a write-up (very rare' some are like me and aren't using fancy SLRs, and even more rare, the folks with fancy </span><span style="font-size: 100%; ">SLRs that do awesome write-ups: not common at all)</span></li></ul><div>I give as an example <a href="http://www.brightestyoungthings.com/articles/photos-slow-club-dc9.htm">the photos taken by a photographer of a DC-based blog</a> at the same show. Her photos are better than mine: that should be expected as she's a photographer and has a way fancier camera. I'm not. <span style="font-size: 100%; "> Peter, if you think I used my flash too much, you should bring your complaint up with her also. She also used flash but for *every* photo.</span><span style="font-size: 100%; "> I should know. Half the time she was either in front of me or near me and I tried desperately to look away from her when possible because her flash was going off. I'm not even counting any of the other fans who were there, taking photos with flash also. It happens. </span><span style="font-size: 100%; "></span></div><br />I don't really care if someone doesn't like my photos. Feel free to rip on them all you want; I take photos at gigs not because I have to, it's because I like to and it's for the promotion of bands. That's what each of the three types of contributors above are trying to do. </div><div><br /></div><div>The reason why there are better and better bands coming to DC as the years go on? It's a direct result of what we bloggers do. Have a problem with what I'm doing? Come and see me about it. But I doubt you would, would you? </div>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-42062467433521587322012-01-12T15:32:00.000-05:002012-01-12T15:32:00.530-05:00day 12 - a song from a band you hate<font color="cyan">Nickelback</font> - 'How You Remind Me'<br /><br />Hate's a strong word. For severe distaste, I think that trophy goes to Nickelback, who the Detroit public have put petitions out to stop them from playing at this year's Super Bowl. (People from Detroit know their music. It's the birthplace of Motown, for god's sakes.) <br /><br />I'd be ok with the guitars on this song except that the lyrics are dumb ("this is how you remind me" - uh, we've been reminded of your silly little song b/c American radio stations can't seem to get enough of it - *groan*). Stupid hair - sorry, long hair on rockers was done yonks ago better first by <font color="cyan">Robert Plant</font> and then <font color="cyan">Sebastian Bach.</font> <br /><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1cQh1ccqu8M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-10432555927967663832012-01-12T15:08:00.000-05:002012-01-12T15:10:42.541-05:00this week's Roundtable (12/1)<i><font color="yellow">Stephen Bass</font> (Moshi Moshi), <font color="cyan">Jim Bob</font> of <font color="cyan">Carter USM</font> (again?!?) and comedian <font color="yellow">Holly Walsh</font> join Lammo</i><br /><br />1. <font color="cyan">Mark Stuart</font> featuring <font color="cyan">Primal Scream</font> - 'Autonomia' - ehhhh...not my thing.<br /><br />2. <font color="cyan">Friends</font> - 'Friend Crush' - <font color="red">second place</font> (third place not announced) - not as good as 'I'm His Girl'. too slow, a bit boring. and borderline annoying. that nasal vocal, yecchhh.<br /><br />3. <font color="cyan">Dodgy</font> - 'What Became of You' - when did overechoed vocals become the rule? ugh. the guitar work is admirable but not much else is sticking out to me.<br /><br />4. <font color="cyan">'allo Darlin</font> - 'Capricornia' - what is odd is that the first time I heard this (before now) this was great. now it's cloying. I guess it overstayed its welcome.<br /><br />5. <font color="cyan">Goldfrapp</font> - 'Melancholy Sky' - there's always been something about Goldfrapp that has been a bit off to me.<br /><br />6. <font color="cyan">Maz Totterdell</font> - <font color="red">Roundtable winner</font> - 'Counting My Fingers' - it has a good pop feel and I can tell we're going to hear plenty of this in 2012. blargh :( expect it to be accompanied by an excessively cute girl riding her bicycle through the countryside. what I don't like is that's she's doing what <font color="cyan">Katie Sutherland / Pearl and the Puppets</font> did 2 years ago and encroaching her turf.<br /><br />7. <font color="cyan">Howler</font> album 'America Give Up' - there is something wonky / throwback about their sound. it's fine but I want to laugh when I hear them, which can't be a good thing.Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-35494520468546568452012-01-12T10:05:00.005-05:002012-01-12T10:13:21.145-05:00Delphic new year wishes from the recording studionot sure what is going on in this wicked weird new <font color="cyan">Delphic</font> video taken in a Hackney recording studio. but here is a quick run-down:<br /><br /><UL><LI>Matt is still fiddling with his pedal effects (though sadly he is not shown playing his gorgeous new guitar, procured presumably in early 2011 b/c it made its first live appearance at the Spotify live gig in London in April)<br /><LI>James has pushed Rick out of the way and has commandeered the piano (make of that what you will)<br /><LI>Rick is still singing those angelic/girly backing vocals, though this time in the studio, he's gone one step further, deciding to use jazz hands (ha!)<br /><li>the messages on the screen at the end read <font color="pink">"WELCOME TO THE NEW YEAR: NEW SONGS SOON / THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE..."</font></ul><br />...so we're reaching the light at the end of the tunnel, guys. I was disappointingly thwarted in my best attempts at sneaking an early listen of the new material (to which I got the exasperated response "my girlfriend has only heard 2 of the songs!) and sitting in on a session. but I have been promised a master when it is available. my fears and concerns for the new album have been communicated...hit me with your best shot, guys.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4rxrgT-JMBg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-16519196955290881692012-01-11T22:15:00.002-05:002012-01-11T22:20:29.776-05:00day 11 - a song from your favorite bandThis is probably the worst question you can give a music editor. How can I choose? It's like choosing your favourite child.<br /><br />To make this easier on myself, I've decided a favourite song ('Nowhere Man') from the first band I really loved - <font color="cyan">the Beatles.</font> The harmonies on this are, simply put, perfect.<br /><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hfWEPu0w-7w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-25700503744182694322012-01-11T22:10:00.004-05:002012-01-11T22:14:52.801-05:00day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep<font color="cyan">'N Sync</font> - '(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You'<br /><br />Easily one of the cheesiest songs recorded, ever. <br /><br />It's not that I don't like this song. I actually used it to help me sleep many nights in college when I was so anxious about classes the next day. And besides, come on, really. Who *didn't* love <font color="cyan">JC Chasez</font>'s voice? (<font color="cyan">Justin Timberlake</font>? Who's he?)<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-fxh7jAJR8U" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-686175760754007282012-01-11T22:03:00.003-05:002012-01-11T22:09:53.111-05:00day 09 - a song that you can dance tocatch-up is the name of the game, yikes!<br /><br /><font color="cyan">Two Door Cinema Club</font> - 'What You Know'<br /><br />The video makes it easy. There's a girl pounding her fists in drums covered in glitter. What more could you need? The backbeat is in your face. Just brilliant to dance to. I danced so hard to Two Door the last time I saw them, my calves hurt so bad for 3 days afterward. Not kidding.<br /><br />It's funny thinking about Two Door and <font color="cyan">Delphic</font>, my 2010 bands, b/c they are so different. While Delphic feels to me "intellectual", Two Door is more "in your face, no frills". I love them both, for entirely different reasons. <br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YXwYJyrKK5A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-81755216314546507672012-01-08T08:01:00.000-05:002012-01-08T08:01:01.066-05:00day 08 - a song you know all the words to<font color="cyan">Dido</font> - 'White Flag'<br /><br />I think this is probably the best song ever written about being in love with someone and having the pain of keeping that person in your life. You know full well that you will run into him again, and you have to pretend you are fine with being "just friends" and have to look like you're going on with your life but inside you are crying. And you can't say anything, because he's with someone else. Having to take the high road, pretending you don't care, never hurt so much.<br /><br />The best part is the bridge, when Dido sings and her voice goes up with "and you will think...that I've moved on" - heartbreaking.<br /><br /><i>and when we meet, I'm sure we will<br />all that was there, will be there still<br />I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue<br />and you will think that I've moved on </i><br /><br />The interesting bit about this video that I really like is it shows both the man (played by actor David Boreanaz) and the woman as strong, successful people, instead of the woman being just completely desperate and inconsolably sad. This gives me hope.<br /><br />The part that I find kind of painful is the part at the end when she's looking at the wall of her flat and she's still got photos of her ex on the wall. She sings like she is trying to be strong but inside she is still in in love with him.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/j-fWDrZSiZs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-56354132388079387692012-01-07T06:02:00.000-05:002012-01-07T21:57:37.822-05:00day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event<font color="cyan">Leona Lewis</font> - 'Bleeding Love'<br /><br />Last month I sang 'Bleeding Love' in the recording booth at the British Music Experience, a museum inside the O2 in London. I sang my heart out, with all the pain and regret I have been holding for the last year and a half pouring out of my body, thinking no-one was watching me. After I was done and took off my headphones, there was a group of schoolkids gathered and they cheered. If they only knew. I have been naturally drawn to songs about bleeding and bleeding hearts, as I have been dealing with the strange, often confounding side effects of a bleeding disorder. So when I say I'm "bleeding", I'm bleeding in two very different ways.<br /><br />The American version of the video (below) is much MUCH better than the UK one, which doesn't make a whole load of sense to me and is visually boring.<br /><br /><iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Vzo-EL_62fQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-61243282337186150962012-01-06T11:59:00.000-05:002012-01-07T21:57:11.004-05:00day 06 - a song that reminds of you of somewhere<font color="cyan">Casiokids</font> - 'Finn Bikkjen!'<br /><br />This is the ultimate party song for the ultimate party in Northern Europe - Roskilde. I'm hoping one day to get back there b/c the vibe was amazing and I saw some pretty amazing performances there. all my Casiokids coverage for TGTF is <a href="http://theregoesthefear.com/tag/casiokids">here.</A><br /><br />Casiokids have got a great new album out already in the U.S. (I've had it for nearly 3 months, beat that!) but the UK has to wait until the 23rd of January. Review coming up on TGTF soon.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/r6WVeGhC8vk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-40496479559518536352012-01-05T14:07:00.002-05:002012-01-05T14:07:00.196-05:00this week's Roundtable (5/1)guests tonight are <font color="yellow">Leonie Cooper</font>, <font color="cyan">Tom Williams</font> (of the Boat) and Eugene Butcher (it's not on the Web site so I've no idea ;)<br /><br />1. <font color="cyan">Air</font> - 'Seven Stars' - I accidentally thought this was David Bowie, with all the Bowie coverage this week (his 65th birthday's Sunday), it was that weird. and I didn't like it. funny Leonie said it sounded like <font color="cyan">Beach House</font>, b/c I can't stand Beach House...<br /><br />2. <font color="cyan">Devin</font> - 'You're Mine' - <font color="red">Roundtable winner</font> - I like this punky sound, very <font color="yellow">Ramones</font>/<font color="cyan">Libertines</font>-esque. sounds more New Joisie than Brooklyn. it's just one bloke?!?<br /><br />3. <font color="cyan">the xx</font> - 'Open Eyes' demo - I like this even more minimalistic yet more lovey sound from the xx. read more <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2012/01/in-the-post-82-the-xx-open-eyes.php">here.</A><br /><br />4. <font color="cyan">'allo Darlin'</font> - 'Capricornia' - <font color="red">second place</font> - I am loving this. so what if they're twee?!?<br /> <br />5. <font color="cyan">Radiohead</font> - 'Staircase' - I don't like Radiohead. and again, I'm left wondering, "what am I missing that everyone else is hearing?" I find this bland, boring and not worth another listen.<br /><br />6. <font color="cyan">the Skints</font> - 'Ratatatat' - <font color="red">third place</font> - oh god, what is this? like r&b but with a creepy, Halloween-type vibe. is that intentional? then there's a woman singing fast like <font color="cyan">Janelle Monae</font> and a random bloke shouting like <font color="cyan">Flava Flav.</font> no thanks.<br /><br />7. <font color="cyan">the Maccabees</font>' new (third) album 'Give into the Wild' - I've never been a huge fan of the Maccabees, and these teaser clips tell me why. yes, they've got the "infectious" sound down pat but will I remember the songs tomorrow? probably not. and 'Pelican' has to be one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard (<a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/11/single-review-the-maccabees-pelican.php">single review here</A>, halfway decent but nonsensical video <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/12/video-of-the-moment-666-the-maccabees.php">here</A>).Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-31856501351278031972012-01-05T07:18:00.002-05:002012-01-05T07:18:00.532-05:00day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone<font color="cyan">The Divine Comedy</font> - 'Everybody Knows (Except You)'<br /><br />This reminds me of my first time I fell in love. Offering up the Divine Comedy was one method of wooing by my first boyfriend. Worked too. Like a charm. I still love Neil Hannon, I think he's written some amazing songs and is criminally underrated.<br /><br />It also reminds me of the last time I fell in love. The most painful way you can be in love is when you're so in love and you can't tell that other person how much you love him. Everyone else around you knows because you're walking around with stars in your eyes and you can't stop talking about him. But still...he has no idea.<br /><br />So note to potential suitors: yes. The way to my heart? Woo me with the music you love and feel passionate about. Because chances are I will feel just as passionate as you are after you introduce it to me.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BsvMca0xG0c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-59134401216552275172012-01-04T17:40:00.004-05:002012-01-04T17:47:15.571-05:00day 04 - a song that makes you sad<font color="cyan">Everclear</font> - Wonderful<br /><br />This sums up that time in your life when you realize Santa Claus doesn't exist and although your parents have protected you, there will be people in your life that will hurt you. Again and again. For me it hasn't been so much the people that hurt me, it's all the medical things that I have no control over that have changed my dreams, forced me to take up a new direction, altered my course forever. <br /><br />I think my parents took my illness worse than I did. But all the while, they tried to make me feel like one day it will all work out. I haven't gotten there yet and songs like this make me cry. I get upset because there are people moaning and whinging on how bad they think their lives are and blah-de-blah and I'm sorry, you haven't lived with a chronic illness all your life. I've had some great moments but there have been moments where I went to sleep in a hospital bed, wondering whether I'd wake up. <br /><br />for those of you whinging about how bad your job is or how you don't have enough money, try living MY life. or walk in the shoes of someone else who has suffered in one way or another that you haven't. There is always *someone* worse off than yourself. That includes me too. Try your best to hold on to what's good in your life. Even if it's a small victory.<br /><br /><iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MUfgAbFY4CA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-47615240613943260902012-01-03T14:08:00.003-05:002012-01-04T18:28:32.933-05:00day 03 - a song that makes you happy<font color="cyan">Delphic</font> - 'Halcyon'<br /><br />this is actually not my favourite song on <font color="cyan">Delphic</font>'s debut 'Acolyte' (that honour goes to 'Submission'.) no, I chose this one because I remember hearing it for the first time and thinking, these guys are not half bad. <font color="cyan">Matt Cocksedge</font>'s guitar solo is what sealed the deal for me: this band had seemed to get the marriage of good rock and good dance together perfectly. a couple weeks later I would see the promo video at DC9, shortly before <font color="cyan">VV Brown</font> performed for us. the video was breathtaking: the right amount of mystery and intrigue had me hooked.<br /><br />months later I would see this band perform it live in all its glory at Roskilde. it's all very surreal that I can now count these fellows not just as heroes but actual mates. I have such a crazy yet amazing life.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZFHxtnacFV8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe><br /><br /><iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BPkQp2xy0_A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-78594930727013238972012-01-03T13:02:00.005-05:002012-01-03T13:41:34.563-05:00day 02 - your least favourite song3rd day of January and I'm already late. whoops. so I have to play catch-up...<br /><br /><font color="cyan">Hoobastank</font> - 'The Reason'<br /><br />music people remember songs that were playing at seminal moments of their lives. I will always remember <font color="cyan">Darwin Deez</font>'s 'Constellations' playing before a band that meant so much to me went on in Washington. I remember this song because I was lost in an unfamiliar part of town, trying to find the hospital where my dad had been taken too, very poorly. it comes on occasionally on the one "rock" station in DC and I immediately switch it off. I'm 24 again and I'm about to suffer one of the most traumatic losses in my life.<br /><br />plus, come on. idiotic promo video. to go with an idiotic song. "the reason is you"???<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fV4DiAyExN0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-75689122068135897222012-01-01T19:46:00.004-05:002012-01-01T19:49:40.025-05:00day 01 - your favourite song<font color="cyan">Wilson Phillips</font> - 'Hold On'<br /><br />it would be impossible to choose my favourite song. so I'm going with the first song I really took apart - examined the lyrics, broke down the harmonies - and I still remember to this day. it's definitely one of the most beautiful songs ever written.<br /><br />and those are some kick-arse harmonies. word.<br /><br /><iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uIbXvaE39wM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-75457900341427204482011-12-29T20:34:00.005-05:002011-12-29T20:45:35.886-05:00Clenched Soulan appropriately melancholy poem by Pablo Neruda. reminds me of a quote in Margaret Atwood's <I>Cat's Eye</I> - I'm as happy as a clam, firmly closed. <br /><br />things are never as they seem, people put on appearances because everyone's supposed to be happy.<br /><br />even if they're not.<br /><br /><font color="pink">We have lost even this twilight.<br />No one saw us this evening hand in hand<br />while the blue night dropped on the world.<br /><br />I have seen from my window<br />the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.<br /><br />Sometimes a piece of sun<br />burned like a coin in my hand.<br /><br />I remembered you with my soul clenched<br />in that sadness of mine that you know.<br /><br />Where were you then?<br />Who else was there?<br />Saying what?<br />Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly<br />when I am sad and feel you are far away?<br /><br />The book fell that always closed at twilight<br />and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.<br /><br />Always, always you recede through the evenings<br />toward the twilight erasing statues.</font>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8785314568884634141.post-91618797451887769922011-12-27T15:31:00.028-05:002011-12-28T15:18:28.243-05:002011 in review, with a heavy heartI haven't posted here since <font color="cyan">the Stone Roses</font> reformed (no North American dates YET, those wankers), and that was a long time ago (over 2 months ago) but I've been busy.<ul><li>starting at the end of October 2011 <font color="red">TGTF</font> became the <font color="yellow">Guardian Music</font>-endorsed <font color="red">TGTF</font>, showing up regularly on their "Best of the Music Blogosphere" blog roll. (at the time of this writing, my Top Gigs of 2011 is still sitting on their blog roll, which is pretty cool for <font color="cyan">Casiokids</font>, <font color="cyan">Dutch Uncles</font>, <font color="cyan">White Lies</font>, <font color="cyan">the Joy Formidable</font> and <font color="cyan">the Coronas</font>, b/c they got attention I'm sure they weren't expecting.) in early December I was asked by two members of <font color="cyan">Delphic</font> WHY I was still hawking TGTF badges on my holiday in Manchester and the answer was, "<font color="orange">we are now the Guardian-endorsed TGTF, I have a reputation to protect!</font>" this included making sure we had plenty of not just content but GOOD content for them to choose from. which meant many, many late nights for me.</ul> <ul><li>speaking of that holiday, <font color="pink">I was away for my birthday in England for 16 days but was ill for 14 of them. </font> so my plans to do a lot of poetry and songwriting went by the wayside of trying to stay in as physically fit as possible state for 10 gigs, hanging out and drinking with friends and colleagues, a lot of sightseeing-related walking, and travel between 3 different English cities. to say I was wiped by the time I returned is an understatement. somehow though I managed not to take a single day off work since I returned. (yes, I am such a good little employee.)</li></ul>if you were wondering what those 10 gigs were, they were:<br /><ul><li><b><font color="cyan">Dutch Uncles</font></b> Now Wave show (<font color="cyan">Fiction</font> supporting) - 02.12.11 - Deaf Institute, Manchester, England - <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/12/live-review-dutch-uncles-with-fiction-at-manchester-deaf-institute-2nd-december-2011.php"><b>my There Goes the Fear review</b></a></li><li><b><font color="cyan">Example</font></b> (<font color="cyan">Fenech-Soler</font> supporting) - 01.12.11 - Apollo, Manchester, England</li><li><b><font color="cyan">Exit Ten</font></b> (<font color="cyan">A Thousand Autumns</font>, <font color="cyan">Tomorrow We Radio</font>, and <font color="cyan">Fei Comodo</font> supporting) - 29.11.11 - Fibbers, York, England - <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/12/live-review-exit-ten-with-a-thousand-autumns-tomorrow-we-radio-and-fei-comodo-at-york-fibbers-%e2%80%93-29-november-2011.php"><b>my There Goes the Fear review</b></a></li><li><b>Billie Butterfly fund 'Magic in the Air' charity show</b> featuring <b><font color="cyan">Everything Everything</font>, <font color="cyan">I Am Kloot</font>, and <font color="cyan">Badly Drawn Boy</font></b> - 28.11.11 - Comedy Store, Manchester, England - <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/12/live-review-magic-in-the-air-billie-butterfly-charity-show-at-manchester-comedy-store-28th-november-2011.php"><b>my There Goes the Fear review</b></a></li><li><b><font color="cyan">City Reign</font></b> EP launch (Stella Marconi and Modern Alarms supporting) - 26.11.11 - Gulliver's, Manchester, England</li><li><b><font color="cyan">Blonde Louis</font></b> homecoming show (<font color="cyan">Monaco Bears</font> and <font color="cyan">Camus the Cat</font> supporting) - 25.11.11 - Plinston Hall, Letchworth, England - <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/12/live-review-blonde-louis-with-monaco-bears-and-camus-and-the-cat-at-letchworth-plinston-hall-25th-november-2011.php"><b>my There Goes the Fear review</b></a></li><li><b><font color="cyan">Cashier No. 9</font></b> (<font color="cyan">Kowalski</font> supporting) - 24.11.11 - XOYO, London Old Street, England - <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/12/live-review-cashier-no-9-with-kowalski-at-london-xoyo-24th-november-2011.php"><b>my There Goes the Fear review</b></a></li><li><b><font color="cyan">Pete and the Pirates</font></b> (<font color="cyan">The Catcher 9</font> supporting) - 22.11.11 - Buffalo Bar, London Islington, England</li><li><b><font color="cyan">City Reign</font></b> (<font color="cyan">Wire Trees</font> and <font color="cyan">Ulysses</font> supporting) - 19.11.11 - Bull and Gate, London Kentish Town, England - <a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/2011/11/live-review-city-reign-at-kentish-town-bull-and-gate-19th-november-2011.php"><b>my There Goes the Fear review</b></a></li><li><b><font color="cyan">I Dream in Colour</font></b> single launch show (<font color="cyan">Heroics</font> and <font color="cyan">Anchor and the Dove</font> supporting) - 18.11.11 - Bull and Gate, London Kentish Town, England - <b><a href="http://www.theregoesthefear.com/tag/idreamincolour">my There Goes the Fear review</a></b></li></ul> <ul><li>I got to interview <font color="yellow">Marc Riley</font> for TGTF inside the new BBC in Salford and who should walk in but <font color="yellow">Stuart Maconie</font>?!? hugs and photos ensue. I never could have predicted that happening. I'm still amazed thinking about it. and he remembered me from my letters and me Tweeting him? what are the odds of that? </li><br /><li>going back to the Guardian coverage, we suddenly had a lot more interest from potential writers. I am finding this good and bad. it's great to have interest. but gee whiz, if you plan to contribute somewhere, be sure you respond to your editor's emails. I can only assume you don't care or you're too busy to respond - and therefore not a good fit - if I don't hear from you. that has been pretty frustrating: maybe because I'm a woman, some people think I'm a pushover. not in your life. but I've picked up at least one good writer who is a friend of a regular contributor, so that's good...</li><br /><li>but I can tell, it's a tough road ahead in 2012. I'm trying to not let this spectre of being tops in the Guardian's books hang over my head...like it already is. it is hard being me. I don't think anyone realises how much I put into the blog, how I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about how to make the site better, how to help my writers achieve their dreams, how I'm going to start a new campaign to promote a fledgling band I believe in and how exactly I plan to do that. I didn't mean for it to happen, but the blog has become my life. I'm not whinging: I'm very proud of what TGTF has become under my leadership and we still have leaps and bounds to grow and become even better. it's like when Elvis was saying he was jealous of the Beatles being a group: when you're the person running something big, you can have lots of supporting players, but no one but you knows the pressure of keeping things in tip top shape. and it is a lot of pressure.</li><br /><li>it's become very clear that one important thing has to happen before I can even *think* about leaving America for England. and that thing - something that could actually happen, versus something that will never happen, like me getting cured - is not going to happen anytime soon, so I think I can kiss my dream of living in England goodbye. and surprisingly, I'm okay with that. I had such a violent shock to the system on this trip that I'm not really sure when I'll return. if I do, I'm guessing it will have something to do with my dear friend <font color="cyan">Matt Abbott</font>, whose presence I miss daily.</li></ul> I'm going to work on trying to post more here in 2012, starting with one of those a "song a day" memes. I already know it's going to be tough work - not for the posting aspect, but for the choosing of the songs. <br /><br />I learned something important this year, which I should have already predicted from the pain I experienced some 399 days prior. something still weighs so heavily on my heart, after the knife went in and then was twisted. it is so big it threatens my mental acuity, my health, all my future relationships. I can be in a public place, in the middle of a crowd, on an airplane, in an elevator...and I will start to cry. it's not right. everyone says I'm so strong; if only they knew. this is me, after years of fighting like my father said I would always have to. sometimes I am tired of fighting and being the strong one, I need someone to lean on. and the one person I want to lean on...I can't. he has no idea...and I have no way to tell him.<br /><br />sometimes I feel like it is going to engulf me like a huge, oncoming wave with no warning: cold, painful, unrelenting. and sometimes I don't care that my life would end if it did. sometimes I just pray at night that my eyes will not open again, because then I could be sure all the pain would dissolve.<br /><br /><font color="Fuchsia">you can have all the right words prepared. but they are useless if you're never given the opportunity to say them.</font>Mary L. Changhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13354326288407049075noreply@blogger.com0