time marches on / reflection on Dad

so I've got less than 3 months now to my big birthday, "the new 20" if you will. it's kind of scary to me when I realise I've been out of school for nearly a decade now. in a lot of ways, I still feel like a kid, like I have so much to learn. on the other hand, feeling like a kid has come in handy when I go to gigs at night with all the young'uns and have to get to work by 8 the next day with less than 5 hours of sleep...



(oh bother, I have no idea why that is so dark! grrrr.)

thoughts still marinating in my head re: trips in and around my birthday. I don't think my parents did it on purpose, but I really detest having my birthday around Thanksgiving. worse, this year it's ON Thanksgiving. every year I get stuck going to my uncle's b/c about half of my mum's extended family live in the area, and every year it's the same "how your university studies going?" um...I haven't been in school in years. I've been in the workforce for years.

even worse - and how could it get any worse? I'll tell you - I get ribbed on for my trips to other locales/countries/states/cities for gigs. I have a cousin who skydives a lot and she doesn't get the third degree like I do. what is so "insane" about something I'm passionate about? I don't get it.

plus it just hasn't been the same since my father passed. this year, I was so v. happy to be in England for the fifth anniversary of his passing - I just couldn't handle being in D.C. *again* and around the doom and gloom. he was always supportive of whatever musical interest du jour I had. at his funeral, it was with some mirth (and of course sadness) that people from his work approached me and said, "you're the kid he took to Japan to see Duran Duran, aren't you? b/c he used to talk about you all the time".

yes, I am. and yes, he took me to see Duran in June 2001 after I graduated so I could see the Simon LeBon / Nick Rhodes / Warren Cuccurullo version of Duran Duran before they disbanded and did the obligatory '80s band reunion. that was a memorable experience. I'm pretty sure we would have gone to England together too if I said I wanted to see some band I loved. but we never got that chance...

ok, so where was I going with this? oh yeah. even though I'm getting older and time is marching on to the end, my love for music hasn't waned at all. in fact, it's gotten stronger, if that's possible. and every time I go to a gig, whether it be a gig in town or I've gone to another city, state, or country to see a band, I know he's with me in spirit. cheering me on b/c he knows what music means to me, even if the rest of my family doesn't.

going to post this now so I don't turn into a blubbering idiot.